3 reasons why your New Year’s resolution to stop viewing porn is not working.
LOST ON PLANET XXX·THURSDAY, JANUARY 17, 2019
1: You aren’t ready
“Let’s face it, pornography might be quietly destroying our lives and contributing to the decline of Western civilization, but it sure is satisfying and pleasurable, isn’t it?” That’s what author Jay Lampart suggests in,Lost on Planet XXX; a new book that tackles the problem of pornography head for Christian men. “When the heat get’s turned up in life, whether it’s the stress of family, work, or everyday life, pornography provides the perfect means of escape and relaxation. It’s the furthest thing from a victim-less crime, but since it is committed in private, with the door closed and the shades shut, we can become deluded with the idea that nobody get’s hurt. We might feel a little guilt and shame afterward, but eventually we bounce back, and life goes on.”
There has to be a part of you - even if it’s a small, unseen part of you - that is willing to quit because you know it’s the right thing to do. New Year’s resolutions seem so poetic, virtuous and empowering in theory, but they are feckless and weak in practice. The way to solve this problem is not to simply mark another line in the sand. There is a stark contrast between having good intentions, and being intentional. To turn away from porn, you MUST be intentional. That involves an action plan, and sticking to it. Reading Lost on Planet XXX: How the Church can solve the modern crisis of internet pornography, is a great place for advice on how to implement such a plan.
2: You are ready
Just a few more looks, then that’s it! How many times have you gone around that mulberry bush? The addictive mind can be very cunning. You may tell yourself you are waiting until the first of the month to purchase an internet filter so it goes on the next billing cycle of your credit card, but deep down; you know what a flat-out lie that is. I’ve watched friends try to quit smoking this way. They will say, “This is my last carton of cigarettes. I’m finally ready to quit!” They count out the packs, and mark the date in which they will run out. They even factor in for a reduction of cigarettes smoked per day.....and what do you suppose happens when they are down to their last pack of cigarettes?
Maybe you are nor ready? Being ready means being ready right now.
If you decided on November 24th of 2018 to make a 2019 New Year’s resolution to quit porn for good, chances are, you are still at it. Deciding today that you will be ready to quit tomorrow does not mean you are ready to quit anytime soon. You need a reason to stop. A reason that is much greater than yourself. This becomes especially frustrating as a Christian - because you already know what that reason is, and yet you still cannot seem to “get it together.” This is all the result of misplaced desires, or what the Church calls concupiscence. Learn more about how to harness these misplaced desires in Lampart’s book, Lost on Planet XXX.
3: Resolutions are bogus
I am not suggesting that New Year’s resolutions aren’t possible to adhere to. I am sure there are numerous, inspirational stories of people who’ve lost weight, quit smoking, and checked off bucket lists as the result of some pact they made with themselves in the new year. I am suggesting (as someone who’s tried this) that you will NOT stop looking at porn simply because it’s January 1, and you want to make some kind of silent, poetic statement to the world.
I’ve sat in countless porn recovery groups, and I have never met anyone who marked the new year as their pivotal moment of sobriety.
Who knows? Maybe you will be the first. I’m not going to say it isn’t possible. Anything is possible, I suppose......however, most of the men I encounter quit because they either got caught, they got scared, or they got sensible. Getting caught means your wife walks in on you and gives you an ultimatum. Getting scared means you found yourself looking at stuff you swore you never would, and you are horrified and disgusted with who you have become. Being sensible means you have the foresight and self-awareness to know that it’s just a matter of time before one of the above happens, and it’s simply not worth it. There is a fourth option, and that is - to have Faith in the Church that Jesus Christ established over 2000 years ago, and begin utilizing every tool they provide. It’s a long and arduous journey, but Lost on Planet XXXis a great resource to help you begin.